MyGoodShephered: ‘Don’t ask who said it; take heed of what’s said’

MyGoodShephered: ‘Don’t ask who said it; take heed of what’s said’: "In the year 1981 I was asked to submit the Passport application of my Boss for he was to go to Germany on official business. Before submis..."

Aftereffects

What is left is then only a feeling of want when it ends,
And its very normal to move on and not to feel anything about such things and there isn't time too, to do this and thats the practical and the logical part of life, but then when on the streets, or surfing my albums and something comes up , which would be otherwise be an ordinary part of daily routine someone, but a significant part for me. As I had been there and for me this is where it became something from nothing and today is a blah! and today there is nothing I want to do nor someone who I could tell this.

Slowly something in me dies. 

An simple argument between logic and randomness.

We have all got expectations from life, we are picky on whatever we do in life even very picky who we want to stand with but often and not we are never in control and when life kind of puts you in that position when you choose what it gives you too chose, you often end up with something completely new... particularly I, often say hmmm this is interesting...wonder why I didn't do this before ... and there we start something new.. that is the birth of probability, not reason nor logic.... just pure insanity.

Gandhi said that Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it because nobody else will.

Its been an year of real uncertain beliefs. All things that could have been stood for have come to collapse as if they had no existence at all, as if I had never made any foundations of those homes that I was so proud to live in. Friends. Love. Family. Career. All things just gave up on me one by one and I still can't believe that all these things happened to me of all people, of all situations. I can't even say that anyone stood by what I believed in. But to an most extraordinary victory of the heart over the mind, of randomness, fate or insanity over logic and reason has left me shaken and moved. As one path that blocked, the other opened into a new dimension of possibility of life that I have not tried before.

So I would like to say to conclude this, that often life comes to this point when it feels like it is the end of things and yepp they are that. The end of things that should not be there in life and things that should now take a different course in thier venture ... whereever they have to go. Cause the sooner you will, the faster you will see the new things that are set for you and life, I tell you with my personal experiances is always with surprises, you wouldn't really expect. Hope you do have the luck to see them in time.

A friend of mine once told me this, while on a very off-beat discussion on life, fate and death that in life, we have already decided to become who we are now. All of this is decided, what we are doing here is understanding why we chose this! :)

Life

For life is like a sea and we are the ripples that forms the wave. Forming an identity in the midst of the confusion or static clearness, and when at its peak, its prime youth, in its dance of life it finds its identity, in the moment's expressive individuality of form it thinks it finds itself but then it is inevitable what would happen, cause the truth is that we are all one. The identity is itself inconclusive, inconsequential.

And it is not that I speak from from not knowing that this is something that happens in just one phenomena. The desert with the dunes that fade and appear with time, one's identity is then just a fraction of what comes to be in the lifetime of the one. And same it is for a tree that rises from the earth to reach the stars and secretly digs deep, later just comes back and there is no distinguishing between earth and the living indentity. Even the most hideous of blackheads or whiteheads, that grows out of the skin for a moment they seem to be permanent, with the expression of vibrant colours that it proclaims to be its beauty also in the end dies and becomes one with the skin, sometimes almost as if it weren't there.

And I speak not cause I see these as patterns of life, but because it is governed by all the forces that we haven't a clue off, cause I think there is a master plan. And I may be mad to say this but in the end, it is what comes to be as Love. When here again we think of the word, we think of it as a mere fraction of the definite definition that we have given it now, but we we look closely, I know it as something that was in its concept and understanding something would not be able to comprehend its simplistic beauty that it is what weaves into life and life into it.

To speak of it, I would say that love would be of the rocks that lay under the soil that support the rocks that makes the road strong, the road in return in love with the tyres that aggressive rubs itself on it, the metals that rides on the jumpy rough rubber and the leather to its holds on strongly to it unlikely partner, and the rider to whom the smooth brushing of the wind on his face makes him feel that he is in heaven. And behold this is it.

For I think God in this ageless wisdom, might have made all things, but never let them to definitions that we have created on it. For he made everything in such simpleness that human complexity would never understand.

Cause I am sure that when I meet my maker, I think he will give me an answer so simple that I would never be able to comprehend it fully.

what was once

for all the silence that has crept in, and left such a garden of eden to waste

the beauty, a glimpse of god now laid to waste for human endeavours fail

mending the old broken house, that I once had so many different tastes,

for the light of dawn again seems to come, but the warmth now gone,

for all that once meant of great importance and innocense was brought down

and that its disappointing to see this, to know that life's promise shattered

the living that once was the light of the eternal grace

i see far and wide, i see the diming of the stars all night, and no hope now remains

cause all the meannings now fade, like a jeolous summers breaks the beautiful spring love

frail and subtle, the love bore the weight, which two souls could not understand

belief slyly took the back door, and we were left all alone,

the eden was lost again in the tales, with no hopes to be found again

a distant flute sings of similar songs, i hear more of these gardens burnt to the ground

though i am one, yet the pain of the mother i hear again and again for she bears

burdens of all and encompassing the pain that was sent from the reasons of cause and practical

melancholic chants in the wind i often hear, words of sympathetic praise follow all

yet i know that all may come to pass when the actual tremour would set in the waste

thundering silently, like a deep groan the sounds will rise, the pied pipper will hasten his tune

send his wishes for all to follow, and like puppets they all shall follow his charm at the end

the fallen, the wasted and the living will all follow to his tune, will all come to unite again

human failures, its weaknesses and his downfalls would not follow the dunes

and then a second chance will too then arise, out of the crowd blind foldedly i will be led to you

I wish ....

I wish I was little child, running on the open feilds

Watching the endless sky, down the morning sun

Walking the earth with no aim but to live a moral

Till the end of the days of dawn, not aging a single day

Till the last of spring and autumn was born and dead

Wishing to be myself in all the situations,

Not worried not who thought what

Being with all and belonging to none,

But to the stars under the silver studded sky

I want not to own the world,

Leave as silently as the grasses in the Wild

Being in every moment the same as the last,

Bringing my living to some unconsequential end

Without anyones desires or tears to bid me farewell

I wish not to have desire, not to love, not to hate

Not any of these traits which would define me of a certain taste

Given up on these thoughts and would leave on no certain date

Just my own tune, my song I will sing till I can and till I can go on.

With a candle in my hand...

Now the depression sets in,
The year marked will be let go,
There have been no remains in my thoughts
A beautiful relation will soon disappear
And no one will complain.

The pain comes now and again,
This voyage will be guided by a star
But this is what never asked him to be
I just wanted him to be with me when this comes

Sometimes I ask, sometimes I just let the pain,
Like an open wound it bleeds, I say its gone
I say it wouldn't bother me but the truth is,
I rather let it not be talked of.

To think what time, I have had with him
To relationship I never took time enough to be given much thought
The negativity brought through the happenings
I wish I had more time and I wish things weren't this way

To be friend, to be someone I could call on
And now when the merry wishes pour in
I wish I could send him one too and to have with him a cake
But now it lies there, I desire not single piece
I desire not a single sweet.

I hide my face, I disguise, I show the strength that I am supposed to
But somewhere deep inside the memories cry
I hate to say, to unearth these feelings but the sing to me
Like a sad lullaby and there is no comfort that could justify this
The hate, the love, the melancholy
All now seems now to be a lesser emotives
Against the feeling that lies buried inside

I lay by the year end, all these memories in my bagpack
I take it outside, bury them,
Cause there is nothing left to be done
There is no hope, no faith just the burning inside
And to whom would I ask a why?
ANd to whom will I question this about this mask?
To whom can I say, to bring back the past..
To meet him once, to bid him farewell
TO have have a chance to light a candle on diwali,
To give him a gift him a cake this Christmas...

There is but a silence to this
There is but darkness at the end of the line
There but me standing here praying to him, with a candle in my hand....